Wow, has been quite a long hiatus from blogging, I actually miss it. Time really has flown by, it's been close to 5 months at my new workplace.
So much has gone through my mind in the past 4-5 months..many things that I've never thought about nor even realised when I was happily cocooned in my previous warm environment. I have come to experience what is meant by, "the grass is always greener on the other side". Yes it was a personal choice I made to leave, because I weighed the soon-to-be changes that were eventually going to take place at my old workplace, and felt that I needed to go, though, I had not wanted to go immediately, but a year later.
"生在福中不知福", I've come to really appreciate this phrase over the last few months. People really don't know how much they have and what a great place they are in, until they are taken out of it, and look back on hindsight.
My mum used to complain that I always stayed late at work...and nagged me non-stop to change a working environment because she always perceived me as being overworked. After making the move, I do find that I am leaving office way earlier than I used to (partly because I do not want to get caught in the evening jam, which is horrendous), but I have also come to realise, that the reason why I used to stay late in office, was because it was a place which I felt at home at, a warm and cosy environment that was safe to be in, with people whom I called family. It was actually more of a conscious choice of using the office table to do work, rather than being forced to stay till late. It's something, that I only saw after I left the cosyness of my old office table.
Where I am now, the kids need not take part in major national competitions, nor vie for awards of any sort. While it was a minor relief at the start, I have also come to realise that that was a large part of what I enjoyed my work. The months of preparation for something that a team worked closely together to achieve, the sweat and toil and sometimes tears, the exhilaration at the end point...undescribable. I miss having to go out of my way to support the kids in their endeavours, I miss the feeling of beaming as a "proud mama", and the picture of camaraderie that made me proud of the kiddos under me. I miss it, I really do..
There are so many other things that I really miss...my ex-colleagues, some of whom I readily call buddies. I miss being along the corridoor and being able to greet and smile at every individual who walked by, I miss working alongside friends, I miss the familiarity of the clock tower and nearby coffeeshops..I miss my cadets..I miss my the officers...
One thing that that REALLY tugs at my heart, is really not being able to bring my Sec 3 form class through to Sec 4. It's funny, but I actually do think about them every other day..wishing that I was the one who was with them through their O's. To a large extent I hope they would still see me as having brought them through half of their journey to the O's, and keep in contact with me..but I know it's different, when you're not actually there to struggle through the journey with them.
So is the move ALL BAD and nothing to rejoice about? Well, I'm not sure yet..for one, my new colleagues from the same department are a really nice crazy bunch. So it has made working a little more bearable. The kids...well, they are definitely different and took getting used to..
We'll see how it goes...can't wait for the June break to be here..
