It was my last conquest,a place that I have come to love and be familiar with over the last 7 years.. I went with much anticipation, having trained up more than ever before, I was ready, for the tough challenge ahead. It was also, my last expedition with a unit I've come to adore, it was meant to have ended on a high note of determination, endurance, and finally, success.
But it was not to be. Everything that I had prepared and looked forward to, came to naught when I tripped and injured my ankle. Yes it was a freak accident I know, but it doesn't change the fact that it happened. I had caused the whole team their view from the top, the elation of having tried and reached eventual success, and I had to borrow the strength of my team to return to safety.
Was it my fault? "shit happens, it was an accident.." Yes I know,no one pointed a finger at me, at least outwardly no one did..something that comforted me, yet increased my sense of regret and guilt towards the team. I couldn't help but see that this trip had not reached it's original objective that was set out. Yes, shit happens, but I didn't expect it to happen to me.
I'm greatly disappointed..to the point of frustration.. the lessons to be learnt, are really cutting deep into my heart..
The lesson of accepting failure...the lesson of managing self-expectation...the lesson of what it means to be in a team.... There's much to be learnt..and lots to let go off before I can move on..
Dear God..please help me... :(
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